Five Seconds
by Kitten Crusader
Summary: Axl's loyalty was what broke him in the end. Dark one-shot. Now with a happy ending.
1. Five Seconds

_Velocity here. This is a darker take on Axl and his relationship with Red. Be warned: this is not a happy story. _

* * *

><p>Red's fists weren't that damaging, physically speaking.<p>

Sure, sometimes they'd leave bruises on Axl's body, but it was nothing his auto-repair systems couldn't handle. Occasionally, when the situation got out of hand, Axl had to ask Soldier Stonekong or Tornado Tonion to help him reset bones or repair broken pieces of armor, but it wasn't anything Axl couldn't handle, really.

But the injuries left on Axl's spirit weren't quite so impermanent.

Red had been kind, once. He had been Axl's caretaker, the one who Axl went to with questions and problems. He had been the one to sit Axl down in Red Alert's rec room and tell spectacular stories of Red's exploits when he was younger, eyes sparkling with affection and laughter as Axl listened in wonder.

Something changed, though, and Axl noticed it right away.

Red snapped whenever Axl asked questions, and he paid no attention to any problems Axl came to him with, regardless of their severity. Even when Axl stumbled to Red's quarters with his internal fluids pouring down his face from an X-shaped scar carved between his eyes, the older Reploid dismissed it as Axl seeking attention and maybe being a little too obsessed with that Maverick Hunter, X. When Axl insisted that Splash Warfly had cut his face and threatened his life, Red snorted and told Axl to stop being insubordinate.

Things didn't improve with time. Red only grew worse. Harsh words turned to harsh blows – Red knew that Axl, desperate to please and loyal to a fault, wouldn't fight back like the other Red Alert members would, and so Axl became the outlet for Red's stress and pain.

And then Red tried something, something that Axl simply drew the line at. When Axl protested, Red took a flying leap off the slippery slope, reaching a whole new level of insanity.

"Obey me," Red whispered. His eye, angry and desperate and shining a little too much in the dim lighting, bore deeply into Axl's uncertain green gaze. "You're the only one who's loyal, Axl. The only one I trust. How can you take that away from me?"

"R-Red, I—" Axl stammered, but Red cut him off.

"You're going to betray me?" Red's voice rose. "I'm disappointed in you, Axl! I'm the one who cared for you, raised you, protected you, and you repay me with _this? Obey me!"_

Axl lowered his gaze and obeyed. He submitted, and he regretted every second of it.

Walking around Red Alert's headquarters the next day was painful. It felt like everyone was staring Axl down, knowing what he did and judging him for it. Axl wanted nothing more than to vanish, especially when Red looked upon him with cold disdain, even after what Axl did for him.

Axl had never felt so used, so damaged.

_But you had to do it, _he whispered to himself. _Red's the only one who will ever give a fuck about you. He deserves everything in the world… whatever he wants… I'll do anything to give it to him…_

It escalated. Axl was left feeling more and more like a worn-out toy, soon to be thrown away. Not only was Red Alert moving up to weightier, more violent crimes that involved more innocent than criminal deaths, but Red himself was getting so bad that some other Red Alert members were starting to fear for Axl's safety.

"You sure you're alright, sweetie?" Tonion asked Axl worriedly as the child stood up to leave the med ward. Tonion noted with concern the limp in Axl's step.

"I'm fine," Axl told Tonion with a weary smile. Neither Tonion nor Axl believed those words.

When Axl finally fled Red Alert, he thought he was escaping the pain and the shame, too. Fighting his way through the city was difficult and stressful, because he knew that one wrong step, one slipup and he'd be back in Red's arms with Red angrier than ever.

Maybe being led back to the Maverick Hunter HQ in handcuffs wasn't exactly what Axl had in mind when he flew the coop, but it was preferable to falling back into Red's possession.

Axl's hope grew when his eyes fell on Maverick Hunter X. If anyone could help him, it was the legendary hero.

But X's eyes were cold and judgmental, reminding Axl far too much of the looks he received at Red Alert. His heart sped up. Somehow, he felt like X _knew _everything Axl had done. Axl glanced nervously at Zero and saw the same calculating look in the hunter's eyes, and Axl suddenly felt very small and very scared.

When X started talking about sending Axl back to Red Alert, Axl wanted to scream. _Not back to Red Alert. Not back to Red!_ Red's transmission that shortly followed X's quick and callous judgment confirmed Axl's worst fears.

Red wanted Axl back – or rather, he wanted his weapon, his tool, his outlet back.

"I don't want to go back there," Axl blurted out, and something must have been in the tone of his voice for both Zero and X to look at him like that. "I can fight. I can take Red Alert down for you!"

X's eyes focused on him sharply, and Axl shrank under that piercing, angry gaze. _He's so much like Red_, his muddled thoughts choked out, a shiver of fear running through his body.

"Talk is cheap. Prove it to me," X said slowly.

X scared Axl just as Red did. But like Red, X was someone Axl looked up to, and Axl would do anything to earn X's respect.

And so Axl found himself pointing a gun at the members of Red Alert – his brothers, the ones who held him and fixed him and comforted him. He found himself destroying them for X's sake. He found himself becoming a murderer.

Every day that Axl killed another precious piece of his life, every day that X narrowed his eyes and ignored Axl, Axl wanted to die just a little bit more.

By running from Red Alert, he'd thought he could outrun his worthlessness and inadequacy, but every insult from X, every emotionless look from Zero was shoving Axl closer and closer to the edge.

But someday, X had to see just how hard Axl was trying, see just how much Axl was going through for X's sake.

Like fighting Red, who had simultaneously been the kindest father-figure and the most terrifying force in Axl's life.

"You ungrateful little…" Red panted, wheezing as he fell to one knee. "I'll tear you to shreds… I'll rip you _limb _from _limb! You know what I'll do to you for this! _You're _mine, _Axl! You've _always _been mine!_"_

Axl's breathing sped up, and he stumbled blindly backwards, unknowingly bumping into Zero. He knew this tone of voice. He knew what Red did when he was this angry.

"Come on, the whole place is coming down!" Zero shouted, hooking his arms under Axl's.

The realization that Red was going to _die _if Axl didn't do something completely overrode the fear, because some part of Axl knew that Red still loved him – a sick, perverse, possessive kind of love – and Axl still returned that love, like an ever-loyal dog. "No! I can't just… Red! _Red!"_

Tears ran down Axl's face as Zero hauled him out of the collapsing building, and X scoffed and muttered something insulting.

Even taking out Sigma wasn't enough for X, and Axl just didn't know what to do anymore. There was no on he could talk to – everyone he could confide in was dead by his own hands. Awful thoughts, awful feelings were festering inside Axl, and he was about to break.

Helplessness was Axl's constant companion. There was nothing he could do, nothing that would stop the pain – it seemed like _everything _hurt; his mind, his soul, his body. X and Zero had a cold, condemnatory air about them, and Axl knew that if he told them, they would tell him he was weak, that he should get over it. He needed someone to talk to… someone to comfort him and tell him everything was alright.

_But you killed everyone you could have gone to… You're a Maverick. You're nothing but a Maverick…_

Axl couldn't take it anymore. Red had broken him, but X had taken those pieces and shattered them beyond repair. The pain… he had to make the pain go away_. _He had to find some way to end it, because pain _never stopped. _It had to end.

He needed it all to _end._

The barrel of his gun pressed against his chin, and the sound of his door opening did nothing to stop him from pulling the trigger.

"Wha- _Axl!" _The loud _bang! _drowned out X's yell.

The blue Reploid could do nothing but stare as Axl's body, lifeless and limp, slumped sideways onto the bed. Stupefied, he watched as the fluids bubbled out from the mess that used to be Axl's skull, the child's face not even recognizable through the mangled remains of his head.

_Five seconds, _X thought numbly, still shell-shocked. _Five seconds earlier, and I could have stopped him._

Five seconds extra in the control room to check in with Signas. Five seconds to talk to Zero. Five seconds spent walking instead of running.

Five seconds.

* * *

><p><em>Keep in mind that most of this was Axl's skewed perception of things, and the way he saw X and Zero was a little different from reality. Of course, since I love Axl so much, I did end up writing an alternate ending where X was five seconds earlier.<em>


	2. Alternate Ending

_I'm uncertain about how good this is, but at least you're getting a happy ending, right?_

* * *

><p>X narrowed his eyes at a cracked piece of his armor, shrugging it off after a couple of seconds. <em>I'll have Gate fix it for me later.<em>

"Good job on the mission, X, as always," Signas complimented him, and X smiled a little. Even if he hadn't missed the violence and the warfare, there was something satisfying about the daily grind of missions.

"All the Mavericks are cleared from the area?" X took a couple seconds to check in, and Signas nodded.

"Hey, have you seen Axl?" Zero asked with a frown, awkwardly rolling his shoulder, which had been the unfortunate victim of a tank of a Maverick's punch. "He's usually here when we get back…"

"He hasn't come in here all day," Alia admitted. "I've been a little worried…"

X sighed at the mention of the child. Honestly, Axl _did _irritate him sometimes, but sometimes he wondered if he gave the kid the wrong impression. It wasn't like X hated him or wanted him to die, but sometimes the way Axl acted…

"Huh. That means he's still on-base," Zero said. No one left the Maverick Hunter HQ without the control room knowing about it. "Hopefully, he's not getting into too much trouble."

"I'll check on him," X told Zero, waving the red Reploid away. "Go get your shoulder fixed. That looks sort of painful."

Zero offered X a grin before turning to leave the room, his blond hair swishing behind him. Smiling fondly after Zero, X exited the room through the other door, heading towards the sleeping quarters. If anywhere, Axl was in his room.

A chill skittered up and down X's spine. For some reason, he had a terrible feeling… Shuddering, he broke into a run, trying to remember Axl's room number.

Finally reaching the correct room, he slammed the button to open the door, thanking whatever deity was above that Axl didn't bother locking it.

X's eyes found Axl very quickly, and the sight evoked a horrified gasp.

Axl sat on the bed, the barrel of his gun pressed against the bottom of his chin. The child's eyes were closed in what should have been a peaceful way, but there were tears pooling in them and there was a small, pained frown on Axl's face.

"Wha- _Axl!" _X activated his dash function without thinking much about it, tackling Axl and sending both himself and the newgen tumbling onto the mattress.

The gun fired off a shot before it clattered to the floor, but it thankfully went wide, ricocheting off the wall and flying harmlessly out into the hallway. X sprawled on top of Axl, close enough to feel the hummingbird heartbeat of his companion.

"Axl. What. Was. That." X drew himself up, still straddling Axl with his hands on either side of the child's head.

"X?" Axl's voice was small. Shaky. Scared. It struck X just how tiny and vulnerable the boy seemed now – how busy had he been ignoring Axl? Something like this, feelings this deep and this disturbing, didn't develop overnight. How had he not noticed Axl breaking down like this?

"Yes, Axl. Me." Though X knew sarcasm probably wasn't the best idea when talking to someone in this condition, it was his natural defense against emotionally stressful situations.

"B-but… I… I was… That wasn't…" Axl wasn't talking sense. The tears that had been previously swimming in his eyes spilled out, and his it was obvious from his face that his mind was in pieces.

"You were going… you were going to…" X clenched his eyes shut and let his forehead fall to Axl's chest. His hands balled into fists against the sheets. "_God, _Axl…"

Axl obviously mistook X's distress for disgust. "It was the only way I could… it wouldn't… I couldn't… it _wouldn't go away, _X," Axl pleaded, _begging _X to understand. "I needed… I needed…"

How had X handled Zero in circumstances like this? "What did you need?" X tried to be gentle, lifting his head to look Axl in the eyes. At least with Zero, eye contact seemed to help.

"I needed for it all to _end," _Axl exclaimed vehemently, squirming against X's weight on his torso.

Okay, no way X was letting Axl get up after saying something like _that. _"Why, Axl?" X prodded, trying to keep his voice soft and even. It was like talking to a scared animal…

"…I couldn't do it," Axl said, his face suddenly falling into a neutral mask. "Not alone. Not anymore. I'm a Maverick, X. I needed to be put down." It must have been _very _familiar territory for Axl to be so calm and composed. It was like Axl was reciting a speech, not pouring out his inner feelings.

"What the _hell _makes you think you're a Maverick?" X exploded. Angry definitely wasn't the way to handle this, but all those close calls with Zero… X wouldn't have another teammate die because they were convinced of their own malevolence.

"I killed them," Axl said simply. "All of them. My family. Red." His voice caught on the last word, noticeably so; it was made even more obvious by the monotone in the rest of what Axl said.

"They were the Mavericks," X said. "Not you."

"But Red… he loved me," Axl stressed, his eyes watering again. "He _loved _me. He just… he just didn't know how to…"

Axl's circuits must have been pretty frazzled for him to be jumping topics like that. But Red… what Axl was saying was sending that same chill from earlier down X's spine.

Before X could say anything, Axl continued in a hoarse whisper. "He said I was the only one he trusted. He said I'd do it for him if I didn't want to disappoint him."

"Do what?" X had a sick feeling of what _it _was.

"It hurt," Axl went on, ignoring X's question. X already knew the answer, anyway. "Of course it hurt. And it hurt more when everyone, _everyone was…"_

Axl broke off with a sob, finally losing it. Not knowing what else to do, X slipped his arms under Axl to hold the younger Reploid close.

"Don't do that again," X mumbled, mouth right next to Axl's ear. "Just…" He hesitated. Axl's behavior reminded him too much of Zero, and the idea of losing either of them suddenly became unbearable. "Just don't."

"B-but…"

"Shut up," X hissed, tightening his grip. "You might be a pain, but you're my responsibility and I care about you, okay?"

Instead of replying, Axl flung his arms around X's middle, returning the awkward embrace. His sobs were muffled by X's chest.

"Whoa, am I interrupting something?" Zero's voice came from the door. X froze, realizing what a compromising position he and Axl were in. Glancing up to meet Zero's eyes, X relaxed marginally at the teasing, if slightly concerned look on Zero's face.

"We're still fully clothed, aren't we?" X couldn't help but snark. If it was Zero, there was always room for sarcasm. "There's still time to join, if you want."

Zero snorted at that. His eyes softened when they landed on Axl, who was clinging to X with a deer-in-headlights look on his face.

"I'm assuming he wasn't okay, then," Zero said softly. He sat down on the bed next to X and Axl. X rolled off of Axl and pulled the newgen into a sitting position. Axl ended up sandwiched between Zero and X, looking profoundly uncomfortable with a few tears still silently rolling down his face.

Zero heaved a long-suffering sigh and wrapped an arm around Axl's shoulders; after a moment, X did the same.

"I'm not going to lose any more people," X said in a low voice, fixing a pointed stare on Axl. Zero shot him a confused glance, and X subtly gestured to the gun on the floor. Zero's eyes widened in understanding, and X continued as if nothing had happened. "So if you need something, just talk, alright? I… I could have treated you better… but it doesn't mean I want you _gone."_

Axl nodded wordlessly, looking incredibly overwhelmed.

"Don't take everything X does personally," Zero added. "He's a jerk to me, too. Honest. It's how he shows affection."

A brief moment of silence. Then, "Axl… you'll be fine."

And X and Zero would be _damned _if they didn't prove to Axl that they meant it.


End file.
